Terry Blotter is half done and I'm one step closer to making my legacy with the next literary sensation. Fantasy pornography will be the next billion dollar idea as #GameofThrones has proven. Though they do not focus on the sex and nudity which is obviously a mistake. If you didn't already know I am what some call a "Fucking Creep" or in a much nicer way of putting it a pornography enthusiast. Hopefully this project will launch my acting career , and if not I guess taking all these Quantum pills and zinc supplements will have been a fun experiment and probably a messy one at that. If I don't become the next up and coming pornstar then I guess having a good story for my grandchildren is fine too.
But now that I'm done plugging, we can talk about our new permanent caster, Del! What happened to Pearboy you ask? We would also like the answer to that, If you know please contact me STAT. Del has a deep and somewhat gross voice and is a tall mutant but he has casted with us once or twice replacing Pearboy every time so he seemed like the best fit. After one recording with him I knew he was our ticket in, here's an interview I had with him just to to give you a taste.
Del: Doob
Butter: What's up?
Del: Eating this toblerone. You?
Del: i miss you guys
Del: This is good chocolate
Del: But it's magnifying!
Del: I meant melting
Butter: Popping... you're almost home!
Del: Vampires live is fucking crazy. I've had so many grudge showdowns already, people get pissed
Del: Frances hogs the bed!
Butter: Haha people are psychos
Butter: Move her!
Del: 26vg jb 0n.mm.
Del: Fuck I am out of it
Del: It's cause I'm high and such
Del: Why am I still awake
Butter: Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeep
Del: You sleepin?
Butter: Sleep texting
Del: I've been doing that for four hours! It was horrible. Plus I couldn't see.
Del: I'm about to go on the new Star Tours ride in Hollywood Studious! Wooop!
Del: Hey
Del: Shhhhhh I'm being sneaky! Frances has school tomorrow, her mom world, so what should y
Del: Her mom works not world
Butter: What
Del: I just managed to sneak all throughout the house to get the snickers bar I'm eating now without waking anyone
Butter: Haha do it get those snickers !
Del: What are you doin? I'm munching my pilfered reward right next to the guard herself!
Del: I'm in the clear, if she wakes now it will only serve to taunt her
Del: That wasn't even half the story, first I had to go through the same process but with a toblerone, thereby ensuring success.
Del: But alas; Toblerones have no preservatives, and it began to lose its solid form
Del: Oh my god, it's not a regular snickers! It's in two pieces! It's two shorter bars as opposed to one full length bar!
Del: This is fantastic, as just when I thought I was finishing my hard-earned treat, I discovered a second bar of the same length!
Del: I haven't woken Frances once that I know of! Truly I am a master of disguise.
Del: Shhhhh time to make it to the bathroom
Del: What are you doing
Del: Don't you ignore me you scuntrag, I just spent precious energy typing out that odyssey for you to read at 4 a.m.!
Del: And I can barely b.c.god damn youbwhat if itbnsjr
Butter: bias
Zappa
Haha awesome get them snickers
Del: Zappa? Jesus I was high when I last texted you. I got those snickers. Anyway, I'm in a theater seat for the first showing of harry potter. Bam!
Butter: Haha awesome! Eat more snickers!!
Del: Snacks are a luxury here. People have left to get them and not returned. There's robed people everywhere, one girl has voldemort makeup.
Del: I'm dressed as a muggle.
After rereading this interview I realize that I'm awful at it and need to stop talking about snickers. Maybe next time i can ask questions but that doesn't fit my rogue writing techniques.
Everyone here is very excited about our new family member and hoping he will stay for awhile, but we're not getting our hopes up.
Butter
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