Spider Kitty

After a long day of bullshitting and watching movies, Thomas and I decided to hit up Wal-mart in the early morning. We were there to kill time and didn't intend to buy anything, so after about two hours of cavorting among the giant-size bouncy balls and constructing entire empires of LEGO bricks, we hit the checkout. As we approached the checkout, I could tell the cashier was a little off. I asked if she has read Time for Kids’ “Big Book of How,” which I was buying, and she clucked a schizophrenic chortle at me, rambling about how I should appear on the game show “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.” I told her it’s amazing, but she probably thought I was kidding or was just retarded. She noticed the purple rubber spider I was also buying, and told me she loves spiders. I could not resist questioning her use of the word "love," because everyone knows spiders are Satan's children. When she told me she had spiders in her home under glass I assumed she meant alive and living in terrarium, but she said they are dead. Then she whipped out her purse and pointed out the rubber spider inside insisting it looked lifelike. All I saw was a fucking rubber spider. She pulled out her phone to further prove that she was in love with spiders and had a spider-themed wallpaper. She then said her email was spider kitty, but I have a feeling all of her online handles are spider kitty. I can imagine her going onto spider forums and bragging about her dead/fake spiders.

Here's that spider I bought, obviously the dinosaur is trying to murder it with his dump truck and the sting ray is just a stingray... I thought it was neato.